Ocean In Me ~ Late Night Epiphanies

It was always someone else for whom I prayed. It was always someone else for whom I begged. It was always someone else to whom I promised to keep them happy forever. But it was never me who stayed with me from the day one to this day. No promises but only complaints. Why I left the very hand which I was supposed to hold for forever? Why ?

It is said, "To find the pearls in life's ocean, you have to venture out far past the shore." So tonight we are going to the vast oceans not to dig out pearls, just to sail across the ocean. Did you know that oceans are lesser known than the much talked space. So when we sail to the countless possibilities no matter what we get but as always I promise you to never get bored and see, I make promises to you but not to me, well it's okay, you owe me this at least,ig.

Sailing past the shores the world quietly disappears.. All people their hustle and bustle, the running motor cars and the swinging children fades away. The only sound you listen is the water rushing down and ocean whispers. It silently tells you the truth which you deny quite often to accept that you are all alone in this vast world. Your true identity is not bound to any clan, religion, country or any person but to yourself. You as an individual take birth here and then you die. In the inevitable phases of your birth and death you walk alone and in between it's always the people who fill the gap of life, isn't it? 

Nonetheless I believed in this last line, always gave people undue amount of respect, time, energy and, above all, love. Well I will not say that the world is full of only predators, there are also good people around where all of your deeds worth it. I am talking about those few people to whom we lose ourselves. We keep pouring ourselves into them until there is nothing left to pour. We forget our very purpose to smile and the only mission of our life turns into make them happy. Our dreams mean almost nothing to us and their desires become the purpose of life, correct?

Don't forget we are sailing. We have sailed for a long time till now. Shores are disappeared.  No sign of human life. Everything is as silent as grave. Ocean is a soulful meditation, under the glittering stars, over the calm waters. It allows you to rethink what you have been doing till now. It allows you to feel every breathe that you inhale and exhale. It allows you to feel the life inside you that you had taken for granted at the shores.

See, sharing your path with someone is a sacred gift, don't cheapen this gift by rolling yours into the wrong hands. You may find people where all what you do finds a worth. They never try to change you but even allow you to be what you really are. If you meet them do whatever you can do for them without taking any day off. This is your true North, keep facing it. At the same time world is full of people who, no matter what you do, will point blank unlike you. This is the time when we need to be simple and realistic. 

When someone treats you like you are just one of many options, help them narrow their choices by removing yourself from the equation. You may care for them but sometimes you have to try not to care, no matter how much you really do. Because sometimes you can mean almost nothing to someone who means so much to you. It's not pride, it's self respect. 

These people will break your self confidence as this is the very foundation where they build their position in your life. They keep telling you why you are always wrong and why they are always right. It fills you with self doubts and so much negative feelings. And you expect a beautiful world with them, funny, isn't it?

In this ocean of life, nothing remains always calm and peaceful. There are tides also. Waves of life keep coming & going, pushing and pulling us. But with every wave there comes a lesson. With every wave you learn what to let go and what to hold on. If you want to see positive changes in life, you have to let go those negative people. They are meant to be a part time people, you need to learn to not give them a full time position. You have to learn your value and what you have to offer to this long flowing life. Never settle for anything less than what you deserve. I know this is painful as change always is. But remember change is always good too. 

You may find yourself marooned in this vast ocean but use it as an opportunity to look at the face which you chose to forget completely. 

Believe that this is the finest creation God has ever ceeated. 

Believe, you are still a reason for someone's smile. 

Believe, You are still a pillar of strength for someone who would've given up if it weren't you. 

Believe, your support, love and guidance has made a positive difference for people.

Believe, you are not insignificant and forgotten. Your existence still vibrantly echoes in the world.

We have arrived at mid of the sea. Now I get why we set off this journey. It was neither about any treasure hunt nor about adrenaline rush but to find sukoon under the sky that meets the water at the horizon. When sun sets and it turns red. Ocean silently whispers in ears, you are incredible. I ain't going back now. I don't hope to cross this ocean even. I shall just close my eyes and lie down over this deep blue sea, under the wonderful shinning stars, allowing the winds to blow me adrift.

To all those wonderful people out there who have come this far with me, I express my heartfelt gratitude to you. Now if you are willing to continue this journey with me, I shall welcome you and those who haven't decided it yet and giving me mixed signals; Dear, I will take it as a NO. I ain't gonna chase you. Sorry I am too old to be playing games now.🙃 

So from now I will be the one for whom my prayers will be offered. I will be the one for whom I will be begging if needed. I will be the one to whom I will make promises to keep me happy forever. Why should I dare to leave the very hand which I suppose to hold forever?

I am adrift now, happy in my own shell,  sailing in endless oceans as the ocean in me doesn't like to be restrained. 

See you somewhere.

Thank you💙

a.

Also Read:

How Dare You

The Twilight Of Life

That Window Seat Girl