A Tryst That Left Me Unbroken

         

                            

           

                          "You will never know 
                                   How strong you are 
                          Until being strong 
                                  Is the only choice you have.."

    When I first read this line it enraptured me, it filled me with a fervour and left me in a bit of dilemma that what that condition could be where I literally would not have any choice but to keep moving on. Very soon I found myself in a similar condition where the only thing left for me was to keep going on and on..

It was my final year of college and was about to complete my graduation 🎓 on a good note but before that my father was diagnosed with lung cancer. His cancer was in its advance stage and according to some statistics the survival rate was less than 2%. Though I have a lot to tell about this story but that will take some time from now. 

This blog is dedicated to the cancer patients across the world who are battling this disease and to the families out there who are going through or have gone through this difficult phase of life.

My father was suffering from fever before being diagnosed with cancer. Initially he himself took some medicines and tried to cure that as mostly we avoid going to doctors. I insisted him to visit a doctor first and then we went to a local clinic where the doctor asked us to do a blood test. Doctor suspected his fever to be Typhoid and the blood test corroborated his point as well. Now treatment for typhoid got started but my father's physique was getting down with each passing day and the thermometer was still striking more than the normal. My maternal uncle came here to look my father and after seeing his condition he persauded me and asked me to see an another doctor. Later I took my father to another doctor and let me tell you this doctor was really a very intelligent one. I showed him my father's test report and then he told me that those reports were not accurate as the testing method was 'Slide Method' which was not a methodology for the test for typhoid. He explained me that for good result 'Tube method' is desired and he even claimed that my father had no typhoid. He recommended me an another laboratory for blood test and also asked me to get an Xray of my father's chest. I was confused why did he ask for an Xray and that too in fever only no cough no pain..nothing which could relate to chest. 

Well, I took my father to the lab he recommended and got his tests done. I left my father home and alone went to show the reports to the doctor. The Dr was correct! Report of typhoid was negative which was positive in previous one. But there was something in Xray..some white portions in my father's lung. Dr told me to get a CT Scan of my father's lung. On being asked about why, he told me that it could be TB, again no cough..!!

I went to home and told my father to go for CT Scan that he immediately refused. My father had never been that much ill and had never gone to any diagnostic center before. He would say that the dr was making money and there was nothing so serious about his health. But still the next day I took him to get his CT Scan done. I had never been to such condition before and the price of test was completely unknown to me. So when I heard that the test would cost us 4000₹ the first thing that came to my mind was, papa was right probably. The receptionist at the center also told me that one more test was prescribed by doctor which would be done if any "unwarranted thing" found inside. I immediately asked for the price not the name of the test which was about to cost us 1800₹.

I thought it to myself that they would surely do that test to make that money too. Still I wasn't aware of the mishappening which was going to hit me and my family in very few time. It was just a normal test for me till then. 

I took my father to the CT Scan room where he was laid in a machine. A separate room was there adjacent to it seperated by a glass shield where the pathologists were looking into my father's body. After some time they called the boy present with us and told him something. The boy came to me and placed his hand on my shoulder and took me out of the room. He told me that there will be an another test too. I asked him, "Was there anything?" He told me Yes...a big Yess.!!

His gestures were completely strange. He took me to the billing desk and informed me the time for next test. Me and my father was waiting for our turn and it was about to take some time. I was sitting on the seat there and I didn't understand how or from where the word cancer hit my mind. I literally don't know from where that word struck my mind. And why I searched cancer in Google for the very first time. I searched whether the CT Scan was a test for diagnosing cancer or not. I was completely out of my mind then. Though I didn't get any clue about cancer and CTscan. I had my exam the very next day and I was totally unprepared for that as I didn't get enough time. My father knew that and forced me to go home. I repeat, I was out of my mind then. On his repeated call and assurance that he would be fine with the other test and would return home by his own, I left the place and returned home. I made that mistake as the next test was biopsy, I didn't know it till then. The lab boy told my father that they would need me to help them for the test. My father called me but even before I could reach there He had left the center. 

The next day I went to college for my exams and my mother called my brother up. After two days my father along with my brother and mother went there for the biopsy and meanwhile the CTScan report was also ready so they visited doctor too to show him the report. And now the menace had knocked our door. Doctor sent my parents out of his cabin and told my brother that my father was diagnosed with last stage lung Cancer ....

They returned home. I was outside my home where my brother informed me that my father had cancer. I had that thing running already in my mind for last three days. His words broke me down. I barely have any word to describe that moment. I was unable to face my father and my mother, who were unknown to anything till then. My maternal uncle suggested us to inform our mother as well and he himself informed my mother. She was crestfallen. She hugged me and cried a lot. I was also shaken but somehow I managed to stay calm and tried to handle things. 

My small family was in a deep shock. Everytime when I looked my father, there was an unbearable pain inside. 

We admitted him  for treatment in BMCHRC. 

Well this blog is not intended to tell people how disastrous this disease is but to aware how disastrous our wrong habits can be. 

German writer Remarque attributed it to Stalin, "A million death is a statistic, but one death is a tragedy.." The point is that only when a tragic death happens in one's close circle, does one take the threat to be really serious. So before like this anything that comes to you and threaten your existence, quit undesirables and choose life over death.

Whatever happens to us not only affects us but also to the whole family living around us. So one should always follow a happy, healthy lifestyle and routine health checkups.

Cancer is curable where early detection holds the key to success, even in the higher stages, the treatment can help patient a lot.

More power to all those persons who are going through this unfortunate phase of life. But remember it always, you have been assigned this mountain to tell others it can be moved. So keep fighting you never know who you are inspiring.. And lets create a future without cancer..

As I wrote it before I have a lot to tell about this which can help people a lot. But for now I will end this blog. Only I can know what it took for me to write this whole event which is still so fresh in my memories but whenever  I look back I see my father there smiling sometimes and sometimes riled in pain.

The battle continued for one and a half year. That tryst didn't end with breaking me down or weaken me but left me unbroken. It tought me how strong I was, not because it was the only option but because it allowed me to check my limits.

My father fought till his last breathe and died exactly three years ago. Today we have his third death anniversary. 

With a Pray for his departed soul and tons of love on his way, I put my pen down. 

Miss you papa ❤️

Akshay✍

Also Read ~ The Twilight Of Life

                   ~ Late Night Epiphanies