Late Night Epiphanies ~ How Dare You

Late Night Epiphanies ~ How Dare You

There are some moments in my life that I recollect whenever I feel  low just to cheer me up and get back to work again. It is also one of them when one of the professors in my college once called me up and said, "What are you doing here? Do you know what I feel about you Akshay. 

This class never ever deserved you.."

Tonight we are not going to seek stars or the moon. Tonight we are not moving into darkness anymore. Tonight there is nothing that we will do for that damn peace. Tonight we will just reach to the peak of the mountain and will shout at this fucking planet

"HOW DARE YOU ..??"

 

I don't know how am I going to feel about this time after some years. That will probably depend on my course of action then but today when I look back I see a long lane I have walked through. It started with early glorious years where I was admired, accoladed and loved and then a strait way where the life snatched every bit and piece I had, just to strive me for everything that I needed. From success to failures, it is indeed a journey that taught me lot. But was I really looking for these learnings? Was I supposed to live a life when people tell me you probably never deserved this or that? Was I supposed to have such people in life who were good for nothing and made the things even worse than they already were? What actually went wrong? Where I left myself? If somebody comes and give me a time machine then where should I switch myself to? What place would be right place? What decisions should I have reversed this time? Or I might have deserved this?

There are infinite numbers of questions that never let me have a sound sleep. Do you know how does it feel when you want to run desperately but the roads end in front of you. Do you know how does it feel when somebody throw you from the heights of the mountain and you are just falling and falling.. you do not touch the ground.. it's not even in sight.. but all you have is a fall.. now you can't fly back to the peak .. you silently wait for the end of this oblivion..!

And now you want to yell .. yell like hell.. to everyone who made this worse .. to every place where you didn't feel at home.. to every time to which people told you that it was never yours'.. 

There is an anger that has made a room in your mind.  You want to release but all of a sudden you realize you are weak now. You can't do this right now. You should wait for a better time .. and the clock again starts ticking like telling you to move lest you run out of time..

I dont know what is hidden there for me down the line. Will I ever be able to restore everything I lost.? How long this pursuit of happiness will keep thriving me..?

And then I remember some of my better time. These are not in terms of amount of success but in terms of the quality of life I lived. And then again the present starts scaring me. The uncertainty what lies in future keeps telling me.. go back... this is not your place..go back..

There was a time when I appeared in an interview for Indian Navy for the post of lieutenant and when our group came out of the room everybody told me that you are going to get selected. And so did I. 

And again comes a time when I appeared for Indian Airforce where too when I came out my mates told me you are going to make it but I didn't.

There was a time when I went on stage and everybody would listen me gingerly. And there comes a time when I don't find a stage but everybody jumps on the bandwagon to give me an unsolicited preach.

What is actually there then to do. Should I still show some languishment to my life and don't yell at it? Does it deserve any more stagnation.? Does my goodness still need to be disposed to the people who never deserve this? 

Or should I roar now..!!

To come out of my fears and insecurities.. I just roar to bring my life into notice to that creator who wrote my fate. I roar to rewrite what I deserve so that every best place in this planet become meager when it comes to accommodate me. I roar to every shitty person to never get played by them again.?

 I roar to reclaim my existence and will never let anyone invade my realm ever..

I just roar to the peak of the mountain 

How dare you ?

How dare you imagined that you will do anything with me and will get away with that so easily. How dare you underestimate my potentials.. 

I fulminate with anger and bring this energy to rise to each and every acme of this world which comes to challenge me..

I roar and the world will see one day..

Akshay✍

Also Read in the series ~ 

Late Night Epiphanies ~ Healing The Wounds

Late Night Epiphanies ~ The Contradiction In Love